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Author of Kikolani | poetry, photography, blogging tips and more
This is a phrase commonly used when talking about addiction, but can be applied to any point when you come to realize there is something that needs to be taken care of in your life: a problem that needs a solution, or an issue that needs to be resolved. But the way we admit to ourselves that there is a problem can be the difference between beginning the path towards a solution and going into despair.
For example, an overweight person can look in the mirror, and say one of two things to themselves: "Yes, I am overweight and need to start getting back into shape" or "I am so overweight, nothing can help me now." If they say the former, they are more motivated to start a good diet/exercise program. If they say the latter, however, they are more than likely not going to change any of their habits, and will continue to stay unhealthy. Likewise, a depressed person can wake up and say, "I have depression, and I will never be happy again." Or they can say, "Yes, I have depression, but I know that it comes and goes - the clouds will lift and the sun will shine again." And an addict could say, "Addiction is an incurable disease, I cannot fight it." Or they can say, "Yes, I am addicted, but I am also strong enough to find the support I need to control the addiction instead of letting it control me."
So the next time you are struggling with something, whether it is with weight issues, depression, addiction, financial stress, etc., think about the way you admit the problem to yourself. Make sure that the way you do it does state the problem factually, but also is optimistic in terms of being able to come to a solution. Admitting should be the first step towards change in the right direction, and not another step in the same direction.
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Author of Kikolani | poetry, photography, blogging tips and more
This is a phrase commonly used when talking about addiction, but can be applied to any point when you come to realize there is something that needs to be taken care of in your life: a problem that needs a solution, or an issue that needs to be resolved. But the way we admit to ourselves that there is a problem can be the difference between beginning the path towards a solution and going into despair.
For example, an overweight person can look in the mirror, and say one of two things to themselves: "Yes, I am overweight and need to start getting back into shape" or "I am so overweight, nothing can help me now." If they say the former, they are more motivated to start a good diet/exercise program. If they say the latter, however, they are more than likely not going to change any of their habits, and will continue to stay unhealthy. Likewise, a depressed person can wake up and say, "I have depression, and I will never be happy again." Or they can say, "Yes, I have depression, but I know that it comes and goes - the clouds will lift and the sun will shine again." And an addict could say, "Addiction is an incurable disease, I cannot fight it." Or they can say, "Yes, I am addicted, but I am also strong enough to find the support I need to control the addiction instead of letting it control me."
So the next time you are struggling with something, whether it is with weight issues, depression, addiction, financial stress, etc., think about the way you admit the problem to yourself. Make sure that the way you do it does state the problem factually, but also is optimistic in terms of being able to come to a solution. Admitting should be the first step towards change in the right direction, and not another step in the same direction.
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unfortunately modern psychology has instilled in us a sense of victimization and has eradicated personal responsibility. manifesting the tools to even admit you have a problem (like co-dependency or sex/love addiction) is the hardest part. i hope you post helps, but i believe the the problem is far more serious. all we can do is live by example and try to influence those closest to us. thanks for your thoughts...
ReplyDeleteIt is always a struggle between action and inaction. To act or react. Great post Kristi, as always, big fan.
ReplyDeleteWell said Kristi! A person often has to come to the point where NOT CHANGING is more painful than the process of change. I believe we can make that choice. Yes, we first need to admit we have a problem; be realistic. And then make the choice to investigate solutions for that problem, whether it's to learn about healthier ways to eat, how to balance your checkbook or finding a counselor. Great post!
ReplyDeleteIf every blogger had Kikolani's spirit just think how awesome that would be :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post thanks
now I have to apply and reflect on my still smoking after all the facts and reality of that dumb choice ;)
@Johnny: I plan on doing a post about that soon, the fact that modern psychology wants to make sure it is driven into you that your problems are permanent, and the quickest "solution" is medications. Not to say that it is a bad option, or that it doesn't work, but they push the meds more than putting you on course to figure out the source of your problem, and how to deal with it on your own.
ReplyDelete@Robert: Thanks. Inaction can be so much worse, and just a waste of time in a bad place.
@Debbie: This is true. I think that once you make one major change, you find it is easier to make others later. It's just about getting started on the right path.
@John: The only thing that stopped my smoking was finding the physical limitations it had on me, like not being able to be indoors for a long stretch without getting the urge, or not being able to hike or run without being quickly out of breath. I hope that you find that thing that helps you quit! :)
Enjoyed reading your post. I can relate certain points to my own principles of attacking a problem, or at least, to get close to finding a solution. Being an optimist is equivalent to finding the 50% of the solution to tackle problem.
ReplyDeletethank you kikolani for this great guest post (and sorry for the late reply).
ReplyDeleteyes, i do agree with you one hundred percent. Admitting is the first step towards the solution. if someone stays in denial all the time it can bring him nothing but more trouble.
Kristi, its one motivational article from you and thanks a lot. And I also loved this blog from BD, because I'm also from Bangladesh :)
ReplyDeleteo hi tamal. i'll surely visit your blog now.
ReplyDeletepeace
You know, I read this a long time ago and meant to comment back then, but never did. I just came across it as a saved email in my inbox and, after reading it again, I'm not responding.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, admitting is the first step. However, it's that second step that's the real issue many time. I admit I'm overweight; what now? Many people think this one is easy to think about, but it's really not, no matter the addiction. Most people can't do it on their own, and probably need to at least talk to someone outside of their normal realm of friends and family for a way to get going.
Nope, it's not easy, but maybe, by taking that first step, you're ready for the next phase.
By the way, are you still writing on this blog as well as your other one?
@Mitch, you know, many people are afraid of the truth and they tend to run away from it. thus they very often can get passed their miseries. if they could just admit it at first, they will be able to work on it.
ReplyDeleteKikolani appeared as a guest blogger for this post. You can find her in her own blog. She now has 2 blogs and both of them are mind blowing.
peace